Writing Blues

So, for the past four months, following my victorious attempt at NaNoWriMo, I've been unable to focus my mind on my writing and continue to work on my "talent". In December, I looked back over the story I'd been hashing away at for the past thirty days, only to realize that I had misinterpreted the meaning behind the contest. As many NaNo veterans would tell you, trying to blitz your way into a noteworthy, block-busting novel in thirty days is pretty rare (possible, but rare), and will most likely end up as something that you'll have to continue spamming away at into the next year.

My personal failing with my novel was that I didn't plan it appropriately, even considering the literal -days- of research I put into it. I had also come to understand, afterward, that this novel that I'd been writing, even though I'd poured so much time into it, was not the story that I've been wanting to tell since I started writing creatively. Don't get me wrong, I'm really interested in World War II and I'd be ecstatic to be able to interview a veteran from that era, but it isn't the story that I want to tell.

Sometime last week, I was randomly thrown a symphony that was originally created by the composer Tchaikovsky. What was given to me, was Tchaikovsky's Symphony No. 6 in B Minor, as composed by Herbert von Karajan with the Berlin Philharmonic orchestra. Now, I've heard time and time again, that classical music inspires creativity in a way that modern music can't compare to, and from personal experience, I can wholeheartedly agree.

The symphony is a beautiful, thought-provoking, goosebumps-driven piece of music, but it was the finale, "Adagio Lamentoso", that helped my imagination to create the story I've been trying to tell. This particular story started, ironically, through the music I was listening to when I was about seventeen years old, almost seven years ago. At the time, I was listening to a lot darker stuff than I'd previously heard, mixed with religious and semi-religious undertones. It was, more specifically, a combination of Mudvayne, UnderOath, Oh, Sleeper, and As I Lay Dying.

I can't help but think that most intellectuals would look down on me for being inspired by that sort of music, but it created a story, for me. I had to nurture this story with my imagination, which manifested itself into my life in various ways, from studying current events on social justice, to role-playing a character on a video game. It took a lot of time for me to get my main character down, but once I did, and once I saw how people reacted to them, it became clear that this was something people wanted to care about.

The tragic hero has always been something that I've emotionally connected to. Someone who has burning passions and is constantly fighting to achieve them, though their effort is mostly in vain. It's something about stubborn, ardent passion through adversity that just clicks with me, and the stories that embody that description are the ones that end up sticking with me the longest. I don't know whether or not the finale in Symphony No. 6 was meant to be a requiem, but the sadness that is invoked near the end of the piece created an image so vivid in my head, that it solidified this character that I've been slowly creating.

In consequence, I'm happy to say that I've finally got the novel idea that I want to write. It's taking a lot of time to figure out my universe, but at least I know that this is something I'll be able to focus on and enjoy. Special thanks to the guy that happened to show me Tchaikovsky's No. 6, you know who you are, brah.