Taking for granted

"Take for granted" is an idiom that people of the United States use to describe someone who expects something that was once an occasional blessing, to be a common occurrence. For example, say a co-worker noticed that you were having a bad day at work, and decided to be thoughtful and buy you a cup of coffee (in addition to buying their daily cup) when they had never done so before. Though perhaps you were initially grateful for their kindness, the next day you were upset that they hadn't bought you another, so you vocally expressed your displeasure when they walked passed you with their daily coffee.

I listened to an episode of This American Life today, which was about giving things up, whether it's intentional, or unintentional. Some of the stories tugged my heartstrings, and led me to question what I personally have had to give up, that I've taken for granted. Two things came to mind, one of which that was intentional, and one that was unintentional.

Intentionally, the one thing that I've forced myself to give up, recently, was World of Warcraft. For those of you who know what I'm talking about, go ahead, laugh it up. For those of you that are unaware, World of Warcraft is an online game set in a fantasy world, which, if you allow it, has created enough activities for a player to do, that it can literally swallow your entire day. As of March of this year, I decided that it was time for me to grow, as a person and as an adult, and I let my subscription become frozen. No more endless repetition, no more four-hour long sprees in front of the computer, and no more monthly $14.99 charges to my bank account. Honestly, I felt relieved. I felt free. Until this month, I had little interest in playing the game, and little more in spending more money. This month, however, my company hired a new co-worker, who became a quick friend. Unfortunately for me, he was an avid player of the game I had given up, and talked about it incessantly.

So, I caved. I renewed my subscription, and paid a transfer fee so that I could play on his server. I played the game for maybe an hour, and then became bored. I didn't play for the next couple days, and then today, I accessed my account, and cancelled the subscription. Though I lost money for the renewal and the transfer, listening to that podcast helped me to realize that I really do take my free time for granted, and in the end, I'd rather not waste most, if not all of it, playing a video game.

That was the easy thing that I had to give up. The harder thing, which will be hard for the rest of my life, was giving up my grandmother. The woman who had raised me since I was a baby, passed away this year at the age of 85. Initially, I didn't know how to feel. It was like my breath had been suddenly cut short. I didn't know how to react. Then I watched a video that my cousin had put together, which was a picture slideshow of my grandmother, set to two songs that had been her favorites. All of my family was gathered together to watch it.

It was difficult, but I consciously held back my tears as long as I could. That was, until I saw a picture of how she looked when I first starting remembering her as a child. The tears just came, then. I didn't force them or anything, they just came. I was honestly ashamed that I didn't sob more than I did. I was ashamed that I didn't break down, get drunk, or throw a fit. This was one of the most important, influential people in my life, why the heck wasn't I a pathetic display of depression?

They say that people deal with death differently, and for my part, I can tell you that it's true. I cried, yes, but I'm still recovering from it, and I'll tell you how I know that. Mostly, it's the coffee. My grandma had hooked me on coffee ever since I was 12 years old. It was a morning ritual, for my father and I, to go to Grandma Erma's house for a cup of coffee and some conversation, with the TV muted but still turned on. Sometimes we'd go outside and talk about whatever while our city woke up.

I took those days for granted, more than I took anything else for granted. Even now, just writing about it, I can feel the muscles around my eyes twitch, threatening to loose emotion. Not a day goes by that I brew myself a cup of coffee and I don't think back to those days. Sitting inside and sharing laughs with my grandmother, who chided me for making her laugh hard enough to render an immediate trip to the bathroom. Or sitting outside with her and my father, talking about how the world could be a much better place if there weren't so many bad people in it. "You don't know what you've got, until it's gone", is another idiom that is so relevant that it's humbling.

I think, as a society, we need to pay more attention to the things that we have all taken for granted. An inspiration of mine, the musician Serj Tankian, once gave a great example as to how we, as a society, have taken life itself for granted. He noted how appalling the idea of "fast food" was; that we have become so busy in our lives, that we don't even give ourselves the time to appreciate the gift of being able to eat something and savor it as a gift. We didn't have to go out and hunt for anything to get that food. We didn't have to grow crops, for the condiments. We didn't have to go to a market for the spices and flavors that were added to the food. All we did was exchange some paper, or plastic, and the food was ours, yet we consume it in minutes, sometimes in seconds. If you ever get the chance, watch an episode of The Deadliest Catch on the Discovery channel. If it doesn't humble you into eating shrimp with gusto, I don't know what will.

All in all, I've got to hand it to This American Life. They did a great job on stimulating my thought process this morning. Give it a listen, I think it might change the way you look at life. Or, at least, you might be thankful for that thoughtful co-worker who noticed your bad day.